


That kind of Feeling that Hurts

by Laila_2802



Series: Tommy's (really not good) college life [5]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Again, Angst, Denial of Feelings, Hurt No Comfort, I dont know what to tag please help, Jealousy, at least i think, author is projecting, but its not that bad, in the friendship kind of way, more surpressing, you know the one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:08:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28512426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laila_2802/pseuds/Laila_2802
Summary: Tommy is experiencing some jealousy but it's actually not that bad.----------Part of the series but no background knowledge is needed for this part. So this can be read as a complete stand alone.
Series: Tommy's (really not good) college life [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2057793
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	That kind of Feeling that Hurts

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I wrote that after I watched like five minutes of Fundy's, Ranboo's and Tubbo's streams today so everything might be incredible wrong for I know nothing about the new SMP don't come for me I just felt stuff strongly and had to write them down. 
> 
> Also a greate opportunity to vent about my jealously problem I have towards my friends that no one knows about. 
> 
> I'm sorry in advance do any mistakes.  
> Enjoy anyways :)

I feel so stupid, of course Tubbo has other friends, they are my friends as well, and of course he can do things with them he can't do with me but that doesn't stop this terrible feeling I have. 

I always watch Tubbos streams when I'm not streaming myself, and so I found out that he and a few others created a new SMP together and I found out the same day and in the same way as any other viewer. I didn't watch the rest of that stream.  
And that's so unfair of me and I know that, Tubbo enjoys stuff like that, building complex technological stuff in Minecraft and anyone can see how much he enjoys this new SMP. Also not many people are in there so it's definitely more chill.  
Now I can't help but feel left out and that's just unfair of me and I'm disappointed at me for feeling like that. 

It's not like Tubbo suddenly has a new best friend, or that we talk less. But what if he realizes that Ranboo or the others are better than me for actually understanding what Tubbo talks about? I'm not stupid but I'm definitely not on the same level of understanding Minecraft mechanics as Tubbo and I feel like maybe he wants to talk to someone who is.  
It's not like I don't have other friends that I stream with while I don't stream with Tubbo, hell I even stream with the same people as he does, like I said I'm also friends with them but sometimes I can't stop my thoughts wandering. 

It's unfair for me to feel like this.  
I know we are still best friends and we talk about everything and that Tubbo is allowed to have his own life and other friends but I can't help it.  
But it hurts so much, the nagging feeling in my stomach and the ache in my heart and the never ending thoughts. It just hurts feeling like this.  
Everytime he streamed with someone else I count the seconds until he eventually de-friends me. But when we talk I feel like everything is okay and nothing can come between us. It's incredibly bad definitely not good to feel like this to make my feelings dependent of Tubbo and I try to change that but it's not easy.  
And I don't feel like this all the time just on some days my feeling get the better of me.  
I should probably talk to Tubbo about that. I already know what he will say but it might feel good to hear him say that I'm his best friend and that that won't change anytime soon.

**Author's Note:**

> So to be honest I felt terrible after finding out about the knew SMP and immediately felt badfor it because that's jsut unjustified for me to feel so I wrote this. I'm honestly really sorry.
> 
> I also hope that I managed to convey the feelings to right way I'm sorry if not.  
> Like for example: My best friend recently got a new boyfriend and I dont have any problems wth that at all but sometimes at random my head goes "You're alone" and then I feel incredebly jealous that he gets to spend time with her and I'm not, but just some times.That's what I tried to convey, hopefully I succeeded. If that's even makes sense, I'm sorry.


End file.
